So here I was unemployed and with a bunch of time on my hands. At this point I had become more adamant in trying to save people that had not been convinced of my position. It made so much sense to me, I thought if I created videos persuasive enough while being entertaining and funny enough for people to watch them in the first place that didn't already agree withmy position. So I created what I couldn't have known at the time would be my 2 most popular videos ever and it wasn't because of it being particularly awesome, although my videos had been getting more professional and properly edited by this point. The reason was because as the equal oppotunity offender that I was a attack a group that was particularly aggressive towards my video and left hateful comments and show this video around until it was also getting in the hand of people who agree with it including the people I was against. This was because while I expressed my negative opinion against one group other groups that I disagreed with assumed that I was on thier side. Although I'm sure the reason was mostly that I posted it as a video response to another very popular video and ironically named it the opposite statment and even acted exactly like the guy in the original video with the same background and everything essentially everything a good parody should be. This video was so popular that I was getting about 2 comments posted on it daily and reached 10s of thousands of views the comments were a mixture of both positive and negative and people were constantly telling me about a factual error I made in the video while ignoring and refusing to comment about all the other valid arguments I made. It was actually hilarious to see people think that because they found one error in the video that it automatically made the entire thing invalid.
Anyway I continued making more videos and they started to get longer and often involved physical acting and parodies along with my usual talk in front of the camera. More of these video had fully written scripts rather then dot points I improvised from and although my channel became more popular due to my increasing quality it still wasn't anywhere near my fellow video activists many of who had a number subscribers in the 10s of thousands. I only had about 100 and no matter how many people were attracted by my one super popular video and how much my videos began to compare in quality to those of the big guys who were swimming in subscribers it never happened. I hardly got any more known and it began to feel like it was all a waste of time to even try.
Ironically it wasn't until I made another video insulting the same group of people as my last really popular video that it began to pick up. I began to communicate through private messages with someone who I was a fan of and eventually ask him to check out my videos and he did and he even said that they were great and then he even gave me a shout out in one of his videos. I was exstatic I finally thought this was it, this was the moment when people would start giving a shit about what I had to say and that I would finally start to get a following. I checked my email the next day and I had 30 new subscribers and I beleive this was going to be a daily occurance for a while and that I would finally get a real fanbase. But to my dismay, that was vertially all i got. about 45 total new subscribers from a shout ou from one of the most popular dudes in this Youtube community.
So I began working harder and made videos as if they were a TV series and had a pin up board that I would pin something on to to represent each episode some of my videos involved using much more elaborate props and physical acting. The scripts were also stronger and funnier. I created about 8 or so videos in this style and although the few people who saw them said they were great I didn't gain hardly any more of a following and by the time i'd reached 200 subscribers, mostly due to another video attacking that special group, at an incredibly slow rate of about 6 months since I had 150, I had just about decided to give up. Not just was I discouraged from the lack of progress I made but I also had a new job as a computer salesperson that was sucking the happiness and motivation out of my life. I hated the job, because it didn't suit me at all. Here I was a socially awkward person who dosn't like most other people forced to deal with them all day everyday. It was around this time that I created my first music video with me acting a several characters in live action and maybe it could have become popular if not for the fact that IT'S AUDIO WAS REMOVED DUE TO COPYRIGHT!!! So there is was trying whatever I could to get it seen by telling people to play the song with it from another source. But of course no one could be bothered doing that, it was just a silent video and as soon as people realised it would take a moment of extra effort to watch it properly changed to a diffenrent channel. That was the last big straw that had been pulled. Since something that I had worked so much harder on then ever before had flat out failed. I had given up.
A whole year passed and I had vertially forgotten my hobby and degenerated again to a state of depression and laziness and didn't feel like doing anything creative or constructive. I just played video games and essentially went from creating
entertainment for people to just watching other people provide it and be jealous of their success. I had even taken up drinking and became a bit of an alcoholic as it was only when I drunk that I could start to think creatively. Not so much because the change to my state of mind caused me to be creative, but actually made me feel happier which in turn led to creativity. I felt like I was trapped in an awful life and was desperate for any means of escape from this real life grind. So that is when I began to get ideas of going back to school and studying a subject that I was really interested in related to what I had been making videos about all this time. So after realising that such a change to such a life would be difficult but posible and the fact that the last year and a half was the most unproductive and stagnant time in my entire life I decided to quit.
and then...
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